It's Okay to Not Be Okay
A dark, whimsical romance where wounded souls collide, healing each other's jagged edges through a tapestry of gothic fairy tales and emotional honesty.
It's Okay to Not Be Okay
It's Okay to Not Be Okay

사이코지만 괜찮아

"When you can't control yourself, count to three."

20 June 2020 — 09 August 2020 South Korea 1 season 16 episode Ended ⭐ 8.5 (1,412)
Cast: Kim Soo-hyun, Seo Yea-ji, Park Gyu-young, Oh Jung-se, Kim Ju-hun
Drama Comedy
Trauma and Healing Mental Health and Neurodiversity The Nature of Family Fairy Tales as Reflections of Reality

It's Okay to Not Be Okay - Symbolism & Philosophy

Symbols & Motifs

Fairy Tale Books

Meaning:

The dark, gothic fairy tale books written by Ko Mun-yeong symbolize the suppressed traumas and uncomfortable truths that the characters must face. They are not meant to be comforting but are therapeutic tools for confronting reality.

Context:

Each episode is structured around a fairy tale, such as 'The Boy Who Fed On Nightmares,' 'Zombie Kid,' and 'The Cheerful Dog,' which directly relate to the characters' emotional journeys and backstories. These stories serve as metaphors for their inner struggles with pain, loneliness, and the need for emotional warmth.

Butterflies

Meaning:

Butterflies are a multifaceted symbol representing trauma, fear, and ultimately, healing and metamorphosis. For Sang-tae, they are a terrifying reminder of his mother's murder. For Mun-yeong, they are a symbol of her mother's psychopathic control. Ultimately, the characters reclaim the symbol to represent their transformation and freedom from the past.

Context:

Sang-tae's phobia of butterflies is a core plot point, driving the brothers to move every spring. The revelation that the killer wore a distinctive butterfly brooch connects this fear to Mun-yeong's mother. Sang-tae's final arc involves him overcoming this fear by learning to draw butterflies, signifying his growth.

Mang-tae the Nightmare Doll

Meaning:

A handmade doll given by Gang-tae to Sang-tae, and later coveted by Mun-yeong. Mang-tae symbolizes a tool for confronting and processing nightmares. The doll is meant to absorb bad dreams, representing the act of externalizing and dealing with one's fears instead of letting them fester inside.

Context:

The doll becomes a point of contention and bonding between Sang-tae and Mun-yeong. Their fight over it and eventual decision to share it signifies their growing connection and shared need to process their respective traumas. It is a physical manifestation of the show's core message of facing one's demons.

Ko Mun-yeong's Long Hair and the Cursed Castle

Meaning:

Mun-yeong's long hair and her isolated, gothic family home (the 'Cursed Castle') are symbols of her mother's suffocating control and her trapped, lonely existence, drawing parallels to the tale of Rapunzel.

Context:

Throughout the first half of the series, Mun-yeong is confined by the psychological prison her mother created, represented by the castle. A pivotal moment of liberation occurs when Gang-tae cuts her hair, an act that symbolizes him freeing her from her mother's 'leash' and the trauma that has kept her chained.

Philosophical Questions

Is it better to forget trauma or to confront it?

The series argues strongly for confrontation. The first fairy tale, 'The Boy Who Fed On Nightmares,' serves as a foundational allegory. The boy who has his bad memories erased is not happy; he is empty. The narrative posits that memories, both good and bad, constitute one's identity. Healing isn't about erasure but about integration—acknowledging the pain and learning to live with it, which in turn builds resilience and emotional depth. Sang-tae's arc perfectly illustrates this: he doesn't forget the butterflies, he learns to face them and overcome his fear, turning a symbol of trauma into one of growth.

What constitutes a 'real' family?

The show deconstructs the traditional idea of a family bound by blood and reconstructs it around emotional connection and mutual support. Both Mun-yeong and the Moon brothers come from broken, biological families defined by abuse and neglect. Their healing begins when they form a new 'found family.' The act of taking a family photo is a pivotal moment that solidifies this new, chosen bond, suggesting that the conscious decision to care for and protect one another is what truly defines a family.

Can people truly change?

The series is fundamentally optimistic about the human capacity for growth and change. All three protagonists undergo profound transformations. Mun-yeong learns empathy, Gang-tae learns self-love, and Sang-tae learns independence. Their journeys suggest that while the past shapes us, it does not have to be a life sentence. Change is portrayed as a difficult, non-linear process that requires courage, vulnerability, and the help of others, but is ultimately possible for anyone willing to do the work.

Core Meaning

The core meaning of "It's Okay to Not Be Okay" is that healing from deep-seated trauma is a painful but necessary journey that cannot be undertaken alone. It posits that true recovery comes from confronting painful memories rather than suppressing them. The series champions the idea that emotional wounds and mental health struggles are not weaknesses, and that accepting one's vulnerabilities is the first step toward genuine happiness. Through the formation of a 'found family,' the show argues that love, empathy, and mutual support can mend even the most broken individuals, creating a space where everyone's scars are acknowledged and accepted.